Wow, for once I managed to get to bed at a reasonable time! Woohoo! What's even better? I am still awake, laundry is going, and the coffee is brewing! Its days like to day that I think I can really get a handle on things!
For years I have suffered from depression, starting when I was 9 and went into foster care. I had a pretty good handle on it by the time I was 15 or so, but after the birth of both of my kids I started spiraling downwards again. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that at the time we only had one car, so when my hubby was working I was stuck at home. We do have 2 cars now, and both the kids are in school, but there are still days that I just want to curl up and cry.
This week was especially hard on my because of the pup. She just hasn't been doing well. We aren't sure if its something she ate, or if its some type of brain damage. If its the latter, then there is a good chance we will have to put her down. She is on meds, but when those run out, who knows. I just am praying that we start seeing significant improvement. I love my babies!
With that said, I also suffer from anxiety disorder. Laying down at night is the hardest time for me because that's when my brain decides to reminds me of all the shit I didn't get done during the day. I mean, really?? The sad thing is, I can have accomplished everything I wanted to get done and my brain is like "Hello! There is so much more to do! Not only that, but have you thought about tomorrow? What about next week?". It drives me up the wall. I was smart last night, and went to bed early enough to be able to take my ambien. It really helps, but if I don't get at least 8 hours on that stuff then there is a chance I will be a zombie the next day. Ok, enough of this depressing crap!
~Back to the good part of the morning~
I managed to get Monster up and dressed really quickly. All I had to do was bribe him! Yep, I call it bribing, mostly because positive reinforcement seems a little too nice. Lol. At his school all the kids get free breakfast and free lunch. We only get to take advantage of that for the rest of this year and next school year because when he moves up to 1st grade that changes. So, if he is good during the week, and gets up on time with out fussing he gets to take his lunch to school on Fridays. I reminded him of that when I went in there to wake him up this am, and he just about jumped out of bed! It was funny. Diva was still a little slow going, but it takes her a while to wake up.
And I am still awake. That's a big thing for me. I have a huge tendency to put the kids on the bus then just curl up and go back to sleep. Especially when I don't really have plans for the day. It drives the MAN nuts, but I can't help it. I love sleeping. Today I am keeping myself awake with the fact that summer break is just around the corner and I don't want the kids to remember the whole summer as having to feed themselves breakfast and lunch. I want to do things with them. So, I am making myself get the house in order by the last day of school. That gives me till June 6th. And if they can help me keep it that way, then we can have fun day trips. With their friends too. Sounds like a plan right????
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