Hum... So much to say

  Its amazing the difference a day can make in someone's life. Today I realized that I don' t need to be the person I used to be just to have friends. For some reason I have never really made friends all that easily, and when I do make them I have a tendency to change my lifestyle to fit theirs. I'm not doing that anymore. I mean, I am who I am. That's it. I'm a married mom with 2 kids who likes to drink sometimes. Not every night, and not always to get drunk. Sometimes its nice just to have a beer or 2 while watching tv or grilling. Don't judge me because you don't know me!

   Ok, off of that onto something else that has been bothering me. I am so sick of the people out there that say depression isn't a real problem. IT IS! Anyone can suffer from it. Mine started when I had something traumatic happen to me as a child. I got over it for a while. Hell, I'm sure that when I started smoking weed after I met the MAN and before I got pregnant with Diva had a lot to do with why I was so relaxed and at ease all the time. But now I am a mom, and no "high" is worth losing my kids. So I take my meds. Even the MAN and I argue about my meds sometimes because he thinks I'm making the condition up.

    It's hard to understand depression if you have never suffered from it. There are days when just the thought of getting out of bed is a pain in the ass. It got so bad that I never wanted to do anything with my kids, my MAN, my friends, or anyone. All I wanted to do was either lay in bed, or just watch tv. Don't get me wrong, I still have those days sometimes, but they are a whole lot less frequent than they were. I would go weeks without doing anything in the house. The laundry would pile up, dirty dishes would be stacked all over the counters.. I had to make a change. I have done therapy in the past, and hard therapy at that, but this was something else. I have thought about going back to therapy, but I just don't have the time for it. In a way, you are reading(hopefully someone is) my therapy.

   I don't want to be a downer anymore, so lets change the subject! I did manage to stay awake all day which was a huge bonus. The only issue I have now is that I am wide awake even though I only got like 3 hours of sleep last night. And if I don't get off of here soon I am going to be exhausted tomorrow! So here's the deal. I am gonna hang it up and hit the bed. If you want to, feel free to comment. Good night Med Heads!